Mailbag

Dear Soper:

Please, please try all the different weird wart remedies people posted for you, and then write about it.

--The Lioness

I aim to please....starting June 26th, I will attempt all of the home remedies you can throw at me for wart removal, and report back with the results.    So far we have (1) aspirin on the wart, (2) banana peel, (3) witchcraft [tie a string around it and bury it], (4) reading The Red Balloon to it, and (5) duck tape [currently failing].  If you have any other suggestions, please add them now.

How did you get your dog to sniff your belly in the Obligatory Belly Shots post? Peanut butter?

--Akeeyu

A piece of dog food.  In my bellybutton.  Yeah.

But the real question is: What kind of vegetable are you growing???

I must know.

--Louise

The suspense has been killing you, I know. 

After waffling for a few days between pie pumpkin and watermelon, the mystery veggie finally made an unequivocal declaration of intent by turning orange:

So it is a pumpkin.  About six inches long, and apparently ripening at frightening speed.   I think I shall have Pumpkin Kadu Bouranee in a few days.

Oh, and if Lala and Ollie want their fabulous prize, they need to email me an address to send the photo to.

Man, that thing sure is growing fast. What are you feeding it? Miracle Grow or do you home-make your plant food?

--Ashley

Oh lord, don't ask me about gardening stuff!  I will go on and on and on...

First off, here is what my garden currently looks like:

It's not the size, it's how you use it....

My garden is only 4'x12', but there is a lot packed into it.  I can pack my plants in so tight because I have healthy plants -- and healthy plants start with healthy soil.

I have an opaque plastic storage tub in my yard that I fill with our kitchen compost.   Only put vegetable waste in the compost.*  If it has oil, fat, or has been cooked with oil or fat, do not put it in the compost.  It will turn rancid and smell.  Compost should smell like dirt, not stink.  If it stinks, that is because someone has added something that should not be in there.

Think of compost like sourdough bread -- once you have a starter, it will last forever.  Take your storage tub, poke a couple of holes in the bottom for drainage, and then fill it a quarter of the way with dirt from your yard.  Do not just use potting soil -- you need the bacteria and organisms in your soil for the starter.  If you don't have access to dirt, potting soil is fine, just add a clump of outside dirt to the mix (sneak off to the park and surreptitiously fill a ziplock bag or something).  Add your kitchen waste to the dirt, stir, and cover with the storage tub lid.

Continue adding waste as it accrues, and stir the mix about once a week, to aerate and help the veggies rot.   In the fall, add the bulk of the compost to your garden area (leaving some in the container as starter for next year).

But Soper, you are whining, I don't have a yard, I can't compost!

Oh yes you can! Anyone can do it!  Clean out some space under your sink and put a plastic tub in there!**  You can grow veggies in pots! 

There is no excuse not to compost!

Once you have good soil, the rest is easy.  I plant my seedlings with two fertilizer spikes (8-24-8) and a couple of Tablespoons of Epsom salts per plant.  Once a month I add more Epsom salts to each plant.  This helps prevent blossom end rot when it fruits.   For the pumpkins (which volunteered, and therefore were not given fertilizer spikes) I tossed down some slow release pellet fertilizer (17-17-17). 

Now aren't you sorry you asked....

* we also compost coffee grinds, tea bags, and used coffee filters, because they do not contain oil/fat and they rot quickly.  Remember the Simpsons where Homer grew Tomacco?  I grow Tomoffee....

** O.K., if you are going to put the tub under your sink, don't poke holes in the bottom of your tub, or you will get drainage on your floor.  Read here for more about home composting.

Comments

[Lioness]

I can grow THINGS in my flat, says Soper! But she doesn't know my tripod cat! The one that destroys all thigns green, some things plastic, a few things glass! So no, she is whining, she cannot grow things! Also bcs she has a Black Hole thumb! And kills every single plant her mother's given her!

This: "There is no excuse not to compost!" Deserves to be the tile of a post. As soon as my creativity returns [currently buried under guilt over a Desperate Housewives marathon, in which some of us saw too many - all - episodes in a few days instead of studying. (Shhhh!)] I shall honour it properly. I actually liked to learn abt this, especially the fat bits. I am now prepared *Scout greeting* Bring 'em on!

[Soper]

If you want to try composting in an apartment, read this:

http://www.mastercomposter.com/worm/wormcomp.html.

You can grow plants that are good for cats to eat, such as barley/cat grass, or catnip, etc.

If you can’t fight ‘em, join ‘em...

[Cat, Galloping]

The dog food in the belly button is quite possibly the funniest thing I've contemplated in a long while. Thanks!

[cheryl b.]

Beautiful and informative, Soper has it all.

[akeeyu]

Ah, you compost. I knew there was something I liked about you, other than your hot belly.

I, too, compost, although I worm compost, because I like feeding tiny animals.

Oh, and ha ha, you put dogfood in your bellybutton!

[Ria]

Compost rules!!!

[Ashley]

Thank you for the compost tips. No, I was not bored. It was very informative. :) I appreciate it.

Gotta ask, how do you keep your dog out of it? We have a 105 lb. Golden Retriever (no, he's not fat) and I'm so afraid that he will find the garden as his designated jungle digging area. What is your secret? Is yours just a non-digger or do you do something specifically to ward him off? I saw your little fence around it, but that would only encourage our dog- "oh wow, mom set up an obstacle course with it!" and he would jump it with delight.

TIA,
Ashley

[Ashley]

BTW, your garden is great!!! Very beautiful and lush.

Ashley

[Jody]

Ah, compost. I don't turn our pile at all, because my dad taught me just to throw all the scraps into a big chicken-wire circle and wait. Of course, now I have one of those big fancy black compost boxes (because we live in that sort of neighborhood, and chicken wire compost piles won't win us friends) but I still don't mix the pile. And I don't actually have any place to spread the compost, yet, because the fools who built this house used chemicals to get their grass growing and it's bare clay until we can afford rototilling on even a 4x12 scale.

On the other hand, now that we're not using chemicals, the worms and beetles have returned, and they're great fun for the kids.

Warts on feet: I have on two separate occasions used OTC wart medicines and a nail clipper. Put the medication on the wart, wait a day, use the nail clippers to remove as much dead wart as you can stand, apply medicine again. Repeat until you reach that little black dot thingy in the center/bottom of the wart. Then cut the heck out of it, until it's all gone. Wart won't hurt, healthy tissue will, just keep cutting away.

Be extravagent with the medicine and cut a wide area around the wart. It's your foot, it's calloused, what's a little pain?

I did this to a wart on my hand, once, too. I had a very warty childhood and there was a brief recurrance in college. None lately. I keep thinking: this is so weird, I haven't had a wart in a decade.

Of course, now I'll wake up tomorrow with ten. Better see if I can find the nail clippers....

[T]

Must compost now. A Homer reference will win me over anytime.

Dear Gardener Soper:

If you miss out on the early epsom salt intervention, can you still somehow avoid rot for plants that are now starting to flower?

Thanks ever so much,

T

[ManhattanAnne]

And the Earth Mother award goes to... Soper!

[Soper]

T-
You can still use the Epsom salts to prevent rot in future fruit.

This guy: http://www.sonic.net/webgrafix/roseboard2/messages/939.html warns that you should test your soil before using them, to make sure it needs help.

Um, yeah, I'll be sure to do that...

[Molly]

DOMESTIC.

GODDESS.