Elmo: The Suicide Diaries

I am a little afraid of the power Elmo wields in our household.  I'm pretty sure if Elmo made a video in which he urged little children to kill their parents and commit mass suicide, two-thirds of the children under six would whack their parents and then drink bleach.

Inspired by the success other parents have had with the "Elmo Potty Time" video, I ordered it and showed it to Moonpie.  She has taken to pooping in the potty "like the girl in the video!" and then giving me two thumbs up.  "I'm like Elmo!" she squeals, and then demands candy. 

Seriously, watch out for Elmo.  All it would take is a little nefarious suggestion from Sesame Street to wipe us all out.

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Soper:  Did you hear about the fight in Kazakhstan this week?

D:  No.

Soper:  Well, there was a Chechen and a Kazakh playing pool...

D:   This sounds like the set-up to a bad joke.

Soper:  It gets better, just listen.  So the Chechen and the Kazakh were playing pool, and apparently the Kazakh won but the Chechen wouldn't admit it.  When the Kazakh guy left, the Chechen got into his jeep and ran over the Kazakh.

D:  Damn.

Soper:  It gets even better.  The Chechen runs over the Kazakh and breaks his leg, then gets out of his car and shoots him in the other leg.

D: Whoa. 

Soper:  Exactly.  And THEN, the next day, the Kazakh and fifty of his friends go to the Chechen's house and shoot nine people.

D: I guess the moral of the story is "Let the Wookie win."

Soper:  I think Borat better watch out.  You don't fuck with the Kazakhs.

Comments

[Liza]

Let the Wookie win? For that alone I like D. Elmo is big in our house, too, although the one who is obsessed with Elmo (18 months) randomly started asking to use the potty WITHOUT the video, and does so about once a day. The one who is almost three, on the other hand...well, if we had a video of THAT one's favorite cartoon character taking a dump we might get somewhere, but that one likes cartoons geared toward teenagers so no dice. SIGH. Let's hope Elmo continues using his power for good and not evil, or I'd have a two-and-a-half-foot murderer on my hands.

[Lut C.]

I can't believe I missed your comeback! I just read through the posts of the last months and am so glad to read how well things are going, some hickups aside.

[SarahD]

Elmo is clearly Teh Evil. Always has been :)

[Adria]

The twins are HUGE Elmo fans. No one has been allowed to turn on anything else for 3 months now.

[Spacemom]

Elmo is evil!

Welcome back. I just caught up with your comeback!

And the correct answer to the "Has she been out in the sun?" question is
"No- I let her nap on the tanning bed yesterday!" And say it with a smile!

[Nan]

I just had court in Kostanai...definitely don't fuck w/the Kazakhs or they make you miserable.