I Wish I Could Play The Guitar

D and I are on day 3 of the falafel-hummus challenge, meaning that I made both on Tuesday and we are unable to stop eating the leftovers despite the consequences.  At some point your GI tract has to adapt to chickpeas, right?  I mean, they are a staple in most middle eastern cultures, eventually you have to be able to eat them daily without gas.  Unless you can't!  And that is the reason for all the unrest!   They aren't fighting over ancient rights to goat grazing land or religious differences -- they have eaten chick peas too many days in a row! 

I feel like I'm having an epiphany.   I need to call Barack and let him in the loop.

Do you think he has a friend who is like that?  Somebody from back in the day who is just thrilled to be buddies with the Prez, who calls him every afternoon at three and interrupts his conference calls to Russia to talk to him about the hummus theory of middle eastern unrest?

All I know is that I keep having weird dreams where I am friends with Michelle Obama.  For the record, she is very needy.  And she always wears sweater sets when we go to lunch.  Although she liked my Muppet coat, so there is hope for her yet.

I didn't tell you I got a muppet coat?  Oh, it's fabulous. It's huge and fuzzy and my sister says I look like Kramer in his coat of many colors, without the hat.  I should be embarrassed to wear it, only I'm not.  So there you go.

Anyway, I finished the last book in the Twilight series, and it was ... oh my.  OH MY.   It was so bad that the only way to do it justice would be to write a song called "Reasons You Don't Marry Your Teenage Mormon Vampire Boyfriend."  Only I can't sing or play a musical instrument.  If you want to collaborate, though, I'll write the lyrics and you can perform it on YouTube for the world's amusement.  And then it will be so much fun that we'll write another one about how I hate those assholes scientists who do studies all the time that say you can't eat bacon or drink wine because it will kill you, but having extra sex with your man will help him live longer.

Like that would be a bonus without wine and bacon.

Call me and bring your guitar!  We'll do lunch!  I'll be the woman wearing the dead Muppet, conspicuously drinking wine and eating bacon, making notes on her napkin of things to tell Michelle the next time she calls....

Comments

[Kelly]

Are you guys gassing Moonpie and Shug out, or are they in on the challenge, too?

The last book in Twilight just went kind of out there. I'm glad I read them before my then pre-teen, but all that I can say is it was fine for her, and a lot of reading which was good for her, content not so much.

Mea has been on a Shark Boy and Lava Girl kick, and everytime we watch it (at least 10 times a day) I snicker because Shark Boy is "Jacob." If only all his fans knew of his stint as Shark Boy, they might not think the same way about him now.

[Cat]

And yet I notice you couldn't help reading them. All of them. And in short order too. Next you'll be re-reading! :)

[Andrea]

I shared with one of my friends your sorrow over your lack of ability to perform a appropriate song on that subject. She then pointed out that actually, it would be a perfect accompaniment to Meyer not knowing how to write.

So, we both vote you go for it.

[Tracy]

Am I going to have to read these stupid books just so I can see how bad they are?

[Nan]

Forget diamonds, Beano is a girl's best friend.

I can see how Michelle would be a good friend - she can come hang at my house after yours any day.

[Heidi]

You need help. ;)

[Elaine]

My brother's family all read the Twilight books because my niece was really into them. They posted "Breaking Dawn" to her at camp, and she came out to the car on the last day saying, "That SUCKED."

The family name for that book is "Breaking Wind," by the way. I thought it was gross.

[Ollie]

I can pound a beat on a drum. It's no Bonham, but it's ... well, it's a beat. Would that work?